Stop asking why and start fixing what's in front of you

Good communication is one of the most underrated professional skills. It shapes how we are perceived, how we lead, how we resolve conflict, and how we grow. Yet most of us were never explicitly taught how to do it well. We learn on the job, often the hard way.

This is the second article in a four-part series written by Leon Ler, one of the mentors in the Femme Palette community. In the first piece, Leon introduced a framework for having difficult conversations. The ones most of us avoid until we can't anymore. This time, he turns to something equally uncomfortable: what happens when things go wrong and everyone is looking for someone to blame.

Because when a problem hits, most teams do the same thing. They stop, they point, they investigate. And while they're busy figuring out whose fault it is, the problem is still there, getting worse. Leon makes the case for a different instinct. Fix first, understand later. It sounds simple. In practice, it changes everything.

Solve the Problem First

A Small Change in Mindset That Delivers Big Results

We've all been there. Something goes wrong: a missed deadline, an upset client, a project that suddenly derails. In that moment, the air in the room (or the Zoom call) changes. The tension spikes.

Instinctively, we do what we’ve been trained to do by human nature: we start asking questions. “How did this happen?” “Who was responsible for this part?” “Why didn’t we catch this sooner?”

On the surface, this seems logical. We need information to fix the issue, right? But in reality, this sequence - investigate first, fix second - is a fast track to conflict, blame-shifting, and a whole lot of wasted energy. It turns a practical problem into a personal one.

I learned this the hard way.

Early in my career, I had a manager who constantly put me under pressure. I started out as a strong performer, but over time the pressure got to me. Mistakes crept into my reports, my estimations were off, miscommunications piled up. Every time something went wrong, my manager's first move was to turn the spotlight on me. "What's going on with you?" "You used to be better than this." "Why can't I trust your work anymore?"

It always ended the same way: an argument. Blame on one side, excuses on the other, and the actual problem still sitting there, unsolved and now loaded with bad energy. I eventually left that job, carrying more than a little baggage with me.

Then, at my next workplace, I made a mistake. A big one. I walked into my 1-on-1 with my manager, stomach in knots, already rehearsing my defense.

But he didn't mention it.

Instead, he was calm, direct, and completely focused on one thing: what do we do with the cards we're holding right now? No interrogation, no dramatic pause, no "so, want to tell me what happened?" Just "This is the situation. How do we move forward?"

It felt like freedom. I could actually focus on solving the problem instead of defending myself with the million reasons I had for it happening.

We did eventually talk about what went wrong. But later, once the fire was out and we were both calm and grounded. That conversation was completely different. No defensiveness, no blame. Just two people honestly looking at a situation and figuring out how to do better.

That manager changed how I lead forever.

So I started doing the same, and I've never looked back. Here's the framework, broken down simply:

Accept -> Fix -> Investigate

1. Accept: Acknowledge the reality without judgment. It happened, and you can't un-happen it.
2. Fix: Focus all energy on resolving the immediate issue.
3. Investigate: Once the fire is out, sit down to reflect on why it started. Now people can be honest instead of defensive.

This isn't about letting mistakes slide or skipping accountability. The reflection still happens. It just happens at the right time, in the right conditions.

Why This Works

This mindset works for three simple reasons:

1. It stops the bleeding. When you’re focused on the "who" and the "why," the actual problem continues to exist. By prioritizing the fix, you minimize damage and get back to business.
2. It defuses conflict. It’s hard to argue about blame when everyone is working toward the same immediate goal. The "fix it now" mentality turns a group of potential adversaries into a team united against a common problem.
3. It leads to better reflections. When you investigate after the stress is gone, people are more honest. They aren't being defensive; they are being analytical. You find the real flaw in the system rather than just the last person who touched it.

So, the next time something breaks, take a breath. Accept that it happened. Then ask only one question: "What is the fastest way to fix what’s in front of us?"

Give your people the gift my second manager gave me. Let them solve the problem first.

The post-mortem can wait. The problem can't.